tldr; my journey so far..
From an early age I realised I was different.
I excelled in maths and was charismatic and well spoken.
I was lucky enough to be awarded a full academic scholarship through high school.
In high school I started to feel a conflict emerging within myself. In hindsight i think i was feeling the tension between wanting to do what i thought was appropriate in the eyes of family/society, and the enjoyment and eye-opening experiences i was having with my friends.
As such i started to socialize more and meet and make more connections with people. I met a nice girl, we started of as friends (lasted about 2years) then we started dating and were in love.
i focused and got through high school with a decently high score. This score got me into my 3rd choice for university, Bachelor of Commerce at a prestigious University nearby.
I lasted about 6months there before I spiraled out so badly I had to leave University before things became irreparable, and take a break for a year.
During this break i did some soul searching and found an interest in zen and taoism.
After this much needed break, I was able to get into a double degree; Bachelor of Commerce and Bachelor of Applied Finance at a different University.
Unfortunately i still had one leg stuck in my old ways. Thus I spent the first few years failing courses and just scraping through. Again i reached a point where i felt i was spiraling out of control and i actually was forced into having a break from University. Thus i took another break of about 1 year.
3rd times the charm? Thankfully yes in this case. After returning i was in a much better state of mind, and i finished Bachelor of Commerce with good scores.
At around the same time that i graduated, my girlfriend of about 4years broke things off with me.
This shattered me.
I relapsed into old ways and went further into the rabbit hole then ever before.
This period of my life lasted many years.
Thankfully i maintained my interest in exploring why we are here through various eastern philosophies ( I did not do this alone, I had people in my life that seemed to appear like angels that kept me on this track).
I don't consciously meditate much.
On the 9 September 2016 i experienced some kind of awakening during a meditative state. This experience is ridiculously hard for me to explain using words. Physically I was shivering and moving my limbs in unorthodox ways. After the experience passed i immediately had the urge to write down what was left in my mind from the experience.
I have always been a rather shy person though i felt this unexplainable need to share this event with others. So i chose to post a video (anonymously) on youtube where i tried to re-create and interpret the experience. If any1 is interested to see this please feel free to ask me.
This literally sparked something inside me like a hunger for life and focus that i have not ever felt.
I now have a group of projects which i am working on. I am not into colours, like my favorite color used to be white 🙂 , however for some reason i classified these projects into "Gray Projects" "Blue Projects" and "Gold Projects".
While working through my plans I am always allowing myself to explore new interests. This has led to me researching into subjects such as meta-physics, the universe, technology, and historical events
About a week ago i came across this site. I have never been interested in numerology (if anything i was sceptic). Though when i started reading about being life plan 11, and what it means, almost every word sung true.
So now at age 32, for the first time in i dont remember how long i feel an inner confidence and need to move forward with my plans.
Apologise for this lengthy message. Though i felt compelled to share this, in hopes that my story may provide some hope, or light for anyone that is experiencing the hardships life can throw at us.
As for me, I plan to act.
I truly hope that i am able to help others in some way through anything that i may do.
Love and respect,
dan
